Category Archives: Writing

Caveman Mind

I sometimes reflect on what it means to be a writer in the 21st-century. In modern society, it’s a more tenuous and less respected role than it once was: going back a mere thirty years, authors were valued more.

Today, anyone can spout forth their thoughts online, in a mutating variety of formats, from the trivial and fleeting to major pronouncements that take years to create and read—I recently came across a series of self-published science-fiction novels, each of which is 250,000 words long.

It’s easy to get disheartened, but when my spirits are flagging, I take heart that I’m a member of one of the oldest professions. It’s long been said that prostitution is the oldest profession…which rather implies to me, that pimping is the second oldest. Whimsy aside, telling tales to cheer people up around a fire or in a darkened cave or up a tree, trying to keep safe from predators, is one of the oldest ways of making a living. Once upon a prehistoric time, we storytellers were the equivalent of television or the internet.

This realisation made me wonder what other praiseworthy jobs can trace their origins back to the early days of man. Artists, be they painters of cave walls, actors or singers would be esteemed for their entertainment skills—making their tribe recall epic hunts of prey or fierce battles with rivals. Healers would have an honoured place in prehistoric society, as well as being looked upon with suspicion. Shamans would mutate into religious leaders, at some point, trying to explain the inexplicable as being the work of a divine god: as Mark Twain said, “Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.

Someone in the cave would be nifty with a bone needle and sinew thread, turning tanned animal skins into garments and footwear—becoming the first fashion designer. Hunters and gatherers would keep their people alive, with one activity being seen as male and honourable, while the other was relegated to females and part of their duties—hence, sexism was originated!

Personally, I think that the first interior designer would have been welcomed with open arms. Whoever invented shelves, finding a way to attach them to the cave wall, was a precursor of civilisation, eventually spawning legions of home improvement programmes on television.

Amongst all of these jobs, the storyteller was always highly regarded, turned to when something needed explaining in an entertaining and wise way.

We’re still around, and even with all of the distractions of contemporary living, we have something to say to people about the state of society, of what it means to be human.

Our words have value, so we should keep on keeping on writing them.

Of course, we don’t know it all…but there are always editors around who think that they do. The thing is, which caveman became the first literary agent?! 

Do you feel connected to a literary thread that passes through time?

How do you cheer yourself up when doubt swoops in?

Is there any era in which you’d like to have been an author? Perhaps as a contemporary of Jane Austen or a drinking buddy of Ernest Hemingway.

What Websites Do Your Characters Visit?

I previously posted a thread about What Books Do Your Characters Read? But it occurred to me, that seeing how we live much of our lives online these days, a character’s browsing history would tell a lot about them.

For instance, someone who regularly looked at satirical sites, such as Private Eye or The Onion would be markedly different to someone devoted to Drudge Report or Breitbart News Network. It would be a quick way of portraying their stance on a whole range of issues.

For something that’s so commonplace an event, surfing the web for pleasure rarely occurs in contemporary fiction, unless the plot hinges on it, of course. In my last Cornish Detective novel, my titular protagonist relies on an array of experts to assist him investigate cases involving local history, seagulls, the art market, embalming, sea currents and trawlers. His hobbies include painting, music and wildlife gardening—which I refer to, as they’re forms of meditation for him, sometimes opening up ideas about his current murder investigation.

He’s just unearthed an ancient ring in his garden while trying to dig an old tree stump out. It’s 600 years old, and he goes online to find out more about medieval jewellery…which browsing will lead him back to the case he’s trying to crack when he suddenly realises the significance of a clue that’s been staring him in the face for weeks.

I’ve had detectives on his team check facts while out in the field, using their smartphones, sometimes referring to Google Earth to get the lay of the land, when staking out a suspect’s house. One investigation required the monitoring of tracking devices that are legally fitted to ships, for reasons of safety, following them online. In the same investigation, an informer had his iPhone fitted with software that turned it into a listening device so the cops could hear him talking to his villain of a boss, via the FlexiSpy website.

No longer do stool pigeons need to be fitted with bulky microphones, tape recorders and battery packs taped to their torsos—yet an astonishing amount of modern crime novels still use this obsolete technology—the author not having done their research.

One of the irritating things about crime fiction is how many detectives and private eyes are portrayed as being inept at using computers—relying on a subordinate officer or a geeky friend to winkle out information for them. Granted, finding a solution online isn’t as exciting as the copper confronting a tough guy in a seedy bar, but it’s more efficient! I’m sure that many crime writers set their stories in olden times, to simplify the writing, as technology is a rotting albatross around the neck.

I don’t recall characters web surfing in any of the science fiction I’ve read. Does it happen?

Presumably, romance/erotica stories feature web browsing a lot, as the protagonist searches for a partner—with attendant emailing.

Do your fictional characters visit real or made-up sites as part of the life you create for them?

What about the web surfing of astronauts? Best not think about what excites Klingons or the Borg!

Has anyone written a story that hinges on their characters being addicted to social media?

Last Lines

It’s drummed into writers, the importance of having a strong opening to their story. Whole books have been written emphasising how crucial the first few lines, paragraphs and pages are, to grab the attention of readers.

But, what of the closing lines, the end of a story, where an author makes a statement of some kind, even if it’s through the thoughts of their protagonist? I reckon that last lines carry more weight as memorable quotes than opening statements.

Looking at famous books, these endings are variously doom-laden and optimistic.

* From The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest by Stieg Larsson:

She opened the door wide and let him into her life again.

* From Oh What a Paradise It Seems by John Cheever:

But that is another tale, and as I said in the beginning, this is just a story meant to be read in bed in an old house on a rainy night.

* From Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell:

Tomorrow, I’ll think of some way to get him back. After all, tomorrow is another day.

* From Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling:

The scar had not pained Harry for nineteen years. All was well.

* From Frankenstein by Mary Shelley:

He was soon borne away by the waves and lost in darkness and distance.

* From The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger:

It’s funny. Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.

* From Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell:

He loved Big Brother.

* From The Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad:

The offing was barred by a black bank of clouds, and the tranquil waterway leading to the uttermost ends of the earth flowed sombre under an overcast sky – seemed to lead into the heart of an immense darkness.

* From Animal Farmby George Orwell:

The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.

I think that there’s a difference between the last lines of a standalone novel and a story that’s part of a series. With a one-off, an author can close the proceedings with a message that encapsulates the themes of the tale they’ve told in a take that way! An optimistic writer who’s embarking on creating a series may well allude to the frame of mind of their protagonist, setting them up for more adventures.

Image result for book endings cartoon

In every end, there’s a beginning.

In my own Cornish Detective series, I always close with my protagonist Neil Kettle alone and contemplating life—in a way that I hope encourages readers to want to find out what happens to him next.

* Book 1: Who Kills A Nudist?: Neil gazed at the departing jet in the distance, its exhaust condensing in the atmosphere. She'd slipped the reminder into his pocket when she pecked him a kiss. Write her? Why not?

He was starting to believe in happy endings.

* Book 2: The Perfect Murderer: As the Chinese saying went, 'Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think.' It was time for him to be where he was again, to inhabit himself once more—he'd been missing his own life.

* Book 3: An Elegant Murder: In a few minutes, Neil was letting himself into the front door, walking through his half-finished home to go and feed a solitary cat who would ignore him. What else did a man need?

He couldn't be happier

* Book 4: Sin Killers: He'd be OK. The sentimentality of the season was getting to him. At a time when we were expected to be loving and loved in return, he felt the lack. Criminals didn't care about his sorrow, and there were new cases to run, but they'd keep for tomorrow.

Lone as a mountain lion, he went off through the bulleting rain back to his moorland lair.

Book 5: The Dead Need Nobody: He'd got his hands full with her in more ways than one. Her slim fingers reminded him that he had an ancient sapphire ring that needed a new home.

The inscription Si vis amari, ama floated into view.

If you want to be loved, love.

What else could he do?

I think that it's important to come up with a stylish ending to a story, that's taken you ages to write, rather than have it come to an abrupt stop!

Do you have any favourite famous last lines from literature?

What about your own?

.

Ghost Characters

Ghosts in literature are familiar to us—think of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, Susan Hill’s The Woman In Black, the dead narrator of The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, Banquo’s ghost in Macbeth, The Dead Men of Dunharrow in The Lord of The Rings and The Headless Horseman in Washington Irving’s The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.

In my chosen writing genre, Crime, there are several prime examples where the protagonist faces up to malevolent forces from beyond the grave, or is in sympathy with them and even assisted by them.

James Lee Burke’s Dave Robicheaux seriesabout a Louisiana detective, has his protagonist imagining and, at times, interacting with long-dead soldiers from the Civil War—most notably during In The Electric Mist With Confederate Dead.

Image result for n The Electric Mist With Confederate Dead.

John Connolly’s novels featuring a private investigator called Charlie Parker are soaked in supernatural events, so much so, that it’s sometimes tricky to decide who’s alive and who’s dead.

James Oswald’s Inspector McLean series sees his Scottish detective dallying with supernatural forces of evil.

I recently read two of Arnaldur Indridason’s Icelandic crime novelsin which his detective hero is forever tormented by the memory of letting go of his brother’s hand when they were children lost in a blizzard. His body was never found, and from time to time his dead brother visits him as a symbol of how he failed. His brother has forgiven him, but he can’t forgive himself.

In my own Cornish Detective series, my protagonist is a widower, his wife killed in a freak road accident two years before Book 1. In the first two stories, he slid into dark depression clinging to his job as a means of coping. He felt guilty about finding ways to avoid thinking about her, in an attempt to move on. Medication and counselling pulled him through, and in the last three novels, he’s been able to imagine her reaction when he does daft things, how she would have teased him. Her spirit is there to that extent, but she’s not haunting him. I fought shy of adding her ghostly assistance, as there are already enough weird things going on.

I wrote a novella based on my own experiences with the supposedly dead, and a short story in which the protagonist doesn’t comprehend that he’s in a state of limbo between this world and the next, but eerie events in my novels are handled by legends, superstition and the fevered imaginings of drunks, druggies and the insane.

Ghosts needn’t be terrifying. Richard Brautigan created a brilliant spectre in The Hawkline Monster: A Gothic Western an entity that has problems of its own in the form of its rebellious shadow.

When I was a teenager, my father introduced me to the humorous writing of Thorne Smith. His best-known works are the Topper stories, one of which was filmed starring Cary Grant and Constance Bennett. Topper is a stuffy man who’s haunted by a fun-loving couple who lead him into all sorts of compromising situations.

Mind you, I sometimes feel that my muse may be haunting me, sneaking in to do some editing without my permission—as Muriel Spark describes in this poem:

Authors’ Ghosts

I think that authors’ ghosts creep back
Nightly to haunt the sleeping shelves
And find the books they wrote.
Those authors put final, semi-final touches,
Sometimes whole paragraphs.

Whole pages are added, re-written, revised,
So deeply by night those authors employ
Themselves with those old books of theirs.

How otherwise
Explain the fact that maybe after years
have passed, the reader
Picks up the book – But was it like that?
I don’t remember this . . . Where
Did this ending come from?
I recall quite another.

Oh yes, it has been tampered with
No doubt about it –
The author’s very touch is here, there and there,
Where it wasn’t before, and
What’s more, something’s missing –
I could have sworn . . .

Muriel Spark

Do you have any ghosts in your stories?

Are they out-and-out terrifying ghosts…or benevolent shades, who assist the protagonist?

Which famous ghosts do you like?

Are they scary or amusing?

If Wishes Were Horses

‘If Wishes Were Horses’ tends to float alone as a phrase these days, to describe something that we wish were true, though it derives from a 17th-century Scottish proverb-nursery rhyme:

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I’d wear one by my side.
If “if’s” and “and’s” were pots and pans,
There’d be no work for tinkers’ hands.
As unknown authors, seeking representation or wondering how to proceed with self-publishing, it’s nice to daydream about what form any success we may have would look like.
Personally, if my Cornish Detective novels ever take off, I definitely wouldn’t want them to reach the stratospheric heights of J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series, or even of any other phenomenally successful author who really can’t write very well…insert your own detested bestseller here. After all, who wants to be so successful that you become a target for kidnappers, terrorists and extortionists?
I’d be happy for my books to sell in quantities that allow me to live a comfortable low-key lifestyle, while writing more in the series, as well as publishing other forms—short stories, novellas, poetry and song lyrics—all of which I’ve written.
I’ve always had my eye on my stories being turned into a television series, and though I know I’d have little to no control over the finished product, that’s the best route to popularisation and steady earnings. Were my novels sold to an American film studio or television company, then I’m sure I’d be able to grit my teeth tight enough to tolerate their inevitable alterations to my characters. I’d hope that they keep the seaside and wilderness of my Cornish location, probably in Maine or Washington state.
Favourable reviews and the respect of my peers would be good too. It’d be great to meet some of my crime writing heroes, people like John Connolly, Michael Connelly, Lawrence Block, Andrea Camilleri and James Lee Burke.
I’d like to please the friends who’ve encouraged my writing, by being successfulNote that I’m listing the pleasant aspects of success, not the irksome obligations, such as interviews, book signings, festival appearances (might be OK) and any hoopla that I need to indulge in via social media to make me irresistible! 
As I wander with as much insouciance as I can muster through the final stage of living, it would be great to have the feelings that appear in this poem by Sir John Betjeman:
The Last Laugh
I made hay while the sun shone. 
My work sold. 
Now, if the harvest is over 
And the world cold, 
Give me the bonus of laughter 
As I lose hold.
If wishes were horses, how would your writing endeavours pan out?
Do you want to be adored?
Could you stand being despised, but wildly successful in terms of earnings?
Would your book make a decent television series or a movie?
How do you feel about being a public face, a household name, instantly recognisable and trotted out to give opinions on things that aren’t even to do with writing?
What about the reactions of your family and friends?

Disposable Characters

After noticing Colin Harrison’s long paragraphs in You Belong To Me, I was also struck by how he used characters who had a walk-on, walk-off role.

The plot of his thriller involved a couple of baddies and one good guy being killed in two separate incidents. Their bodies were accidentally discovered, having been disposed of in remote locations. The people who found them were given separate chapters, rather than a few paragraphs. Admittedly, the chapters were short at three pages, but the characterisation was so strong that they were more compelling than the protagonists.

One was a pest destroyer, specialising in the most extreme infestations of rats, which led to some stomach-churning details of how rats flourish. The other disposable character was a commercial orchard owner, who’d lost her nose to cancer as a result of the pesticides she was forced to use, meaning she wore a plastic prosthesis when in public. Sadly, these two never appeared again after they’d told the police about the corpses. They were only passing through, but they made an impact.

My crime novels are 80,000 words long, featuring about a dozen coppers and villains, with several recurring characters, such as pub landlords, newspaper reporters, a coroner and police informants. I regularly devote entire chapters to the thoughts of my hero detective or his villainous antagonist but haven’t up to now concentrated on the life of a minor player. I may give it a try!

Describing the jobs that folk do, and the landscape they work in is a great way of rounding out a story and giving it context.

How do you deal with supporting characters in your stories?

Paragraph Length

I’ve just finished reading You Belong To Me, by Colin Harrison. It’s his eighth novel, and he previously had bestsellers with The Havana Room and Manhattan Nocturne.

Image result for You Belong to Me by Colin Harrison

One thing that struck me about his writing style, is that he composes very long paragraphs. The longest was three pages—about 112 lines—some 1,400 words! Harrison lives in New York, where his novels are set, and he’s plainly passionate about the city. Some of these lengthy paragraphs consist of him pontificating on such things as the history of shopping malls and the use of illegal steroids in muscle gyms. Interesting as these digressions were, they didn’t advance the story at all.

I was taught that a paragraph should focus on one subject, which should be discussed until it’s completed. Harrison certainly does that, though I found my attention wandering a bit, almost longing for a paragraph break.

It made me have a look at how long my paragraphs are in my five completed novels. I appear to average out at 90 words, with only a few more than 100 words. I know that when I’m writing and I see a big block of words forming, I feel compelled to break off—more out of fear of boring readers with limited attention spans, than any lack of belief in myself.

How long are your paragraphs?

Are you intimidated by long paragraphs?

Do short choppy paragraphs put you off, as they make it hard to get a grip on the story?

Image result for long paragraph cartoons

Time Span

One of the elements of my crime novels that I acknowledge isn’t realistic, is the time span of the investigations. This anomaly commonly occurs in the genre, for after all, who’d want to read a story that took several years to play out? It’s OK for that to happen in true crime tales, but fiction demands a speedy resolution. In real life, an investigation could take a decade to crack, but in fiction, the detectives get lucky breaks—the trick is, to make them believable and not wildly improbable.

My latest Cornish Detective novel, The Dead Need Nobody, took place over a period of ten weeks, which is the swiftest my protagonist has solved a case. One of the reasons for the short time scale, was I deliberately put the murderer in the frame—everybody in Saint Ives fingered him as the likely suspect—yet he’s as slippery as greased mercury. A very wealthy man, my detective’s problem is pinning him down so that he can’t escape with the help of high-priced lawyers.

The other four books occupied three months, seven months, three months and four months. Not everything was cut and dried so quickly, for a crime that took place in the first story, set in 2012, which was written off as a tragic accident, was only revealed to be a murder three years later in Book 2.

There have been plenty of famous novels that take place over the course of a day, such as Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn’s One Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich. C.S. Lewis wrote The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe as happening over 1,288 years in Narnia, but it only took several Earth minutes. The Taking of Pelham One Two Three, written by Morton Freedgood, under the pen name John Godey, and filmed a couple of times takes place over one hour.

Image result for The Taking of Pelham One Two Three,

As you’d expect, very long books describe events over several decades. Marcel Proust’s In Search of Lost Time is 1,267,069 words long and was published in seven volumes. Proust wrote it from 1909 until his death in 1922; three volumes were published posthumously. The novel is an allegorical contemplation of his own life, effectively occupying the same late-19th-century to early-20th-century era.

The record for the longest time span might well belong to 20th-century science fiction author Olaf Stapledon. His Last and First Men: A Story Of The Near and Far Future describes the rise of mankind over two billion years!

Short stories can describe mere moments. One of my writing heroes, Richard Brautigan wrote a short story that’s been called the shortest ever, including for the duration of the action:

The Scarlatti Tilt

It’s very hard to live in a studio apartment in San Jose with a man who’s learning to play the violin.’ That’s what she told the police when she handed them the empty revolver.

Richard Brautigan

An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridgewritten by Ambrose Bierce, occupies the time it takes a body to drop from the bridge to the end of the rope, as a man is hanged.

When writing, I keep track of what date the action is set, just so I don’t miss things like bank holidays that might affect events. Rather than mention actual dates in the narrative, I tend to indicate the passing of time by natural happenings, such as how the weather changes, birds nesting and breeding, plants growing leaves as spring arrives and dropping them in autumn. I forgot to mention my protagonist detective having yet another lonely birthday in one story, but that’s one of the advantages of being unpublished, for I edited his non-celebration in.

How long a period does your story take to happen?

Have you written an epic that spans centuries?

Do you include influential real-life events in your narrative, to reinforce the authenticity of your plot? I felt compelled to do this over Brexit, as the action of my third Cornish Detective novel was set in the farming community, who faced economic ruin from losing European subsidies—which threat prompted a couple of the crimes described.

If you write flash fiction, does the brevity of your tale focus on moments—or do you hint at the longer time span of a larger story?

How do your Stories make People Feel?

I was recently reminded of this quote:

They may forget what you said—but they will never forget how you made them feel.
Carl W. Buehner

It’s commonly misattributed to Maya Angelou.

Whoever said it first, it’s a pertinent observation when it comes to the stories that we write.

Looking at my own writing—the short stories, novellas and novels—a trait that they share is the protagonist surviving awkward or dangerous situations, and coming through emotionally bruised, with their misconceptions about life changed for the better and optimistic about the future.

They’re not so much feel-good stories, more conforming to what P.D. James said:

What the detective story is about is not murder, but the restoration of order.

Order is restored in most of my tales, not just in my Cornish Detective novels, though there’s still an uneasy sense that things can go wrong and that it’s wise to be watchful and kind to others, as we’re all travelling a rocky road. I try to make my reader empathise with the humanity of my characters, including the antagoniststaking them on a journey that reaches a believable destination, even if it isn’t quite where they thought they were going. On the way, I want them to be intrigued, menaced, thrilled and relieved.

Occasionally, I’ll leave loose ends to make readers wonder about the fate of a character, as not everything should be tied in a neat bow. I’ve also written a few horror stories, aimed at making the reader feel unsettled, at the very least, if not scared to venture outdoors ever again!

How do you try to make your readers feel?

Terrified?

Sexually aroused?

Angry?

Confused about a moral dilemma?

Excited?

Sleepy? Hopefully not, unless it’s a bedtime book for youngsters.

Happy?

How Do You Feel When You Write?

The process of writing a book involves many stages, from the inkling of an idea to making plans and researching, before writing the story, followed by editing…then, wondering how to sell it!

Of all of the stages, editing is my least favourite, and as for marketing my novels, I’m as confused a dunce now as I was five years ago.

For me, the best part of the process is the actual writing: I come alive when I return to the keyboard. Steve McQueen encapsulated the excitement of doing something he loved—racing—and I feel the same way about writing.

Image result for steve mc queen

I’m intrigued to see what happens next, for whatever plans I’ve made and however inventive I am, there’s still an unknowable element that appears while I write.

I split into three parts: creator, critic and reader, watching the story coalesce. Not every author feels the same way:

‘My greatest fear is of suddenly feeling that to devote so much of my life to writing is meaningless. It’s a sensation that I’ve felt very often, and I’m afraid that I will again. I need a lot of determination, a stubborn, passionate adherence to the page, not to feel the urgency of other things to do, a more active way of spending my life. So yes, I’m fragile. It’s all too easy for me to notice the other things and feel guilty. And so it’s pride that I need, more than strength. While I’m writing, I have to believe that it’s up to me to tell this or that story, and that it would be wrong to avoid it or not to complete it to the best of my abilities.’

Elena Ferrante, author of My Brilliant Friend and four other Neapolitan Novels. P.G. Wodehouse

Other authors don’t have any guilt about writing: 

‘Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.’

Gloria Steinem

‘I never want to see anyone, and I never want to go anywhere or do anything. I just want to write.’

P.G. Wodehouse

I previously posted on How do your Stories make People Feel?‘ but how do you feel when writing those stories?

Happy? 

Neurotic?

Angry? 

Wistful?

Confused?

I feel like this lion:

joyHappy Lion.jpg