Authors & Their Day Jobs

This infographic shows some famous authors who once had unconventional jobs:

Authors and Their Day Jobs: INFOGRAPHIC | GalleyCat

I think it’s intended to be inspirational, in a “well, if they can do it, so can I” way. I’ve certainly had some horrible jobs in my 65 years, including a few that were when I was on a career ladder as a librarian and teacher—rather than just doing a humdrum job to pay the bills.

The worst, and this might make vegetarians feel faint, was working in a food factory that manufactured bacon, pork pies and quiches. It was a long time ago, in the mid-70s, and I’m sure hygiene standards have improved since then—though, the factory where I worked was closed for contravening them. Everything happened on site, from slaughtering the pigs to making the product, packing it and sending it out to supermarkets.

One of my first jobs was sweeping up pigs ears and putting them in a dustbin to be used by a pork scratching maker. They do say that no part of a pig is wasted, and this was proven by my promotion to a new task. A supervisor took me into a steamy room and gave me a chain mail glove to wear on my left hand. My right hand wielded an electric knife with a rotary blade. Three black dustbins were placed in front of me. One contained 1,000 pig testicles, the others were for holding the gristly middle that I’d cut out and the meaty flesh. The gristle went to a lard manufacturer, the meat was used to make pet food.

I did this onerous task for eight hours a day. Holding onto the slippery testicles turned my hand into a claw—I could barely open it at the end of the day. It certainly made me look at my own manly body differently as I soaped myself clean in the shower!

It’s not the sort of thing that will appear on my author biography when I’m rich and famous, but I’m sure it contributed to my strength of character.

What’s the worst job you’ve done?

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Nobody Wants to Read Your Sh*t

I’ve read about 30 writing handbooks in the last few years. One of the best is The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. It’s not a writing guide as such, more a motivational boot camp nag into how to overcome obstacles in the creative process.

He really knows what he’s talking about, from long and bruising experience:

Steven Pressfield – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

His website: Books | Steven Pressfield

Pressfield is closely allied with Shawn Coyne, who is his agent and quite a writing guru himself. His Story Grid method of writing a book is worth a look—it’s cheaper as an ebook.

His website: Story Grid

Together they started a publishing company called Black Irish and published a sequel to The War of Art. It’s called Nobody Wants to Read Your Sh*t and is available as a free audio download if you sign up to Audible.

Handedness—are you Left or Right-handed?

I spent some time researching handedness, for the plot of my third Cornish Detective novel. A dead woman has been found with a blow to her right forehead, which looks to have been struck by a left-handed assailant. The problem for my detective is that the main suspect appears to be right-handed, though he carries a shotgun in the crook of his left arm.

This set me thinking about how I use my hands, and whether I only do some things with one hand or the other. I’m right-handed, though strive to be as ambidextrous as possible just for the mental workout. It’s reckoned that 10-12% of people are left-handed, and all sorts of sweeping generalisations are made about how this affects creativity or a tendency to be better at the sciences.

By coincidence, an article came in from the Brainpickings site which referred to the writer Maria Popova teaching herself to write with her left hand; it had unexpected benefits for her: 

Beyond the tangible satisfaction of mastery painstakingly acquired, the endeavor had one unexpected and rather magical effect — it opened some strange and wonderful conduit through space and time, connecting me to the version of myself who was first learning to read and write as a child in Bulgaria. Generally lacking early childhood memories, I was suddenly electrified by a vividness of being, a vibrantly alive memory of the child’s pride and joy felt in those formative feats of the written word, of wresting boundless universes of meaning from pages filled with lines of squiggly characters.

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Intrigued by this, I had a go by compiling a list of descriptive words that I want to include in my WIP. I wrote a few in a spidery left hand, coming up with words which I might not have thought of if typing them on the keyboard—probably the most ambidextrous thing most of us do.

For some reason, I use my left hand to operate taps/faucets.

Which hand do you favour?

Quotation Marks—Why Bother?

I took a three-year break from reading novels after I returned to creative writing. Instead, I read poetry, self-help books (I need it!), writing handbooks and authors’ memoirs. I avoided fiction, partly because of wariness about my own writing style being affected, but also because I read a novel a day for four years while keeping company with the black dog of depression—I was suffering novel overload.

The novel that regained my attention was recommended in a Guardian article about top 10 chases in literature. William Gay was a writer new to me and Twilight was the only title on the list which I hadn’t read. I like picaresque Southern Gothic thrillers, by such authors as Cormac McCarthy, Harry Crews, Barry Hannah and Flannery O’Connor, so bought a copy of Twilight on eBay for £2.

It’s everything I hoped it would be, and I was 20 pages into it before I realised that there were no quotation marks to delineate speech. It read OK without them, though I’ve seen the advice from writing gurus that readers like seeing quotation marks on the page ahead of them, as conversation is easier to digest than blocks of text. Cormac McCarthy despises most punctuation, especially quotation marks, so perhaps William Gay was influenced by him.

Here’s an extract from Twilight, to show you what I mean:

Coming into Ackerman’s Field the wagon and its curious freight accrued to itself a motley of children and barking dogs and a few dusty turtlebacked automobiles and such early risers as were stirring and possessed of enough curiosity to join the macabre parade to its ultimate end on the courthouse lawn.
Before he even stepped down from the wagon the man said, Get Sherriff Bellwether out here.
A fat man in overalls had approached the wagon. Bellwether’s done been sent for, he said. Who all is it Sandy?
The man pulled back the quilt covering with the faintest flourish, not unlike a nightmare magician offering up for consideration some sleightof-hand.
Goddamn it, Sandy, that girl’s half naked. Did you not have enough respect to cover her up?
The man they’d called Sandy spat. I ain’t Fenton Breece, Hooper. All I undertook to do was bring em in. That’s all the undertakin I aim to do. You want to handle them then you cover em up.

I quickly adapted to his style of not using quotation/speech marks, and though I paused and went back a few times to clarify the meaning of what he was saying, I’m not sure it was any more than I’d normally do if an author followed conventional practice.

One thing I’m sure of—if I tried querying a literary agent with a writing sample devoid of punctuation to show when someone was talking, it would be immediately rejected!

I’m not planning on eradicating quotation marks from my writing, but do any of you get by without them?

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Am I repeating myself—yes I am! Do you?

I returned to creative writing in 2013, initially with short stories, novellas, poetry and song lyrics. I wrote my first novel in 2014, a crime novel and tried querying almost 200 agents and publishers with it before realising it was double the length it should be for a debut novel by an unknown author. D’oh! 

Undeterred, (I’m stubborn!), I wrote a prequel of the correct length, followed by three more stories, running into tricky problems in maintaining continuity through a series.

I came across a dilemma of saying the same thing again, which reminded me of a technique that one of my favourite crime writers Ed McBain used.

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He’s credited as a pioneer of police procedural novels, and his 87th Precinct stories use exactly the same descriptions of his cast of detectives. Protagonist Steve Carella is always introduced as: 

‘He was a big man, but not a heavy one. He gave the impression of great power, but the power was not a meaty one. It was, instead, a fine-honed muscular power.’

These brief hints at the looks and nature of his cast of characters are carried across from one book to another. They become a welcome way of refamiliarising oneself with who’s who, the thumbnail sketch a mantra.

In my series, the Cornish landscape is as much a character as my heroes and villains, and rightly so as it’s a mystical and dangerous place, with plenty of legends and natural hazards. Scores of holidaymakers are injured or killed here every year. Faced with a way of saying this again, I decided to repeat myself:

‘Cornwall could be a dangerous place, and it was usually visitors to the county who were caught out by being too relaxed in its deadly beauty. Holidaymakers tumbled off cliffs and into old mine workings or drowned in rivers and at sea.’

I also repeated myself in introducing one of the characters, a forensic pathologist called CC:

‘She was unmarried but enjoyed plenty of suitors over the years. With no children to distract her she was melded with her career—though an aged Grey Parrot kept her on the straight and narrow. The bird’s language was as colourful as CC’s own, and the pathologist’s screech of laughter reminded him of her avian companion.’

I don’t see this as laziness, and I see no point in rewriting a description just for the sake of being unique. As I found, when reading Ed McBain as a teenager, readers may well like the sense of familiarity the repetition creates.

Do any of you do this?

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May We Escape This Fate: Awful Library Books

As an ex-librarian, I understand the pressing need to free up shelf space. A lot of new books are published every year, as we writers understand from the competition we face.

A book’s return date label is good evidence of how popular it’s been, and with only so much room in the reserve stock basement, many titles end up in the library book sale or donated to charity.

They are deaccessioned, which sounds painful!

Some of the ripest titles appear on Awful Library Books, a site devoted to the weird, tasteless and downright bad books that shouldn’t have been bought or even written in the first place.

I found this example of fantasy fiction, written by Marian Engel, where a librarian enters into a sexual relationship with a bear! I like to include animals in my stories as wild creatures and pets, as they’re good indicators of a character’s personality, but this is taking things a bit too far….

What would Paddington, Rupert and Pooh Bear make of it all! 

Image result for Bear (novel) engel

Editing a Book is like….

After completing the editing of a novel, I have mixed emotions. I may be pleased that I’ve come in 200 words under the recommended word count of 80,000. I sometimes use those words to backfill sentences to add to the impact of them but usually, after months of editing, I’m heartily sick of the process, and even a bit resentful of the story I’ve devoted seven months of my life to creating.

I need the stimulus of a new project and yearn to plan and research my next novel. Explaining the tedium of editing to friends, I’ve come up with a number of similes, including these:

1) Editing is like going through a fully-grown crop field, your wonderful novel, walking between the rows to find hundreds of weeds. Destroying them by hand, you turn around and walk back finding loads more! 

2) Editing is like inspecting a house you’ve designed and constructed from the foundations up. Initially, you walk from room to room, seeing if it’s navigable and would be a welcoming place for a reader. Before long, you’re crawling the walls like a lizard looking for prey.

3) Editing a book is like examining a bowl of muesli with a toothpick, finding some of the ingredients you used are not of the best quality….

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What is the editing process like for you?