All posts by Paul

I am a self-employed writer, which means I’m working for an idiot who doesn’t pay me enough – but the holidays are great. I’m ex many occupations, from the respectable ‘career-ladder’ to disreputable “somebody’s- got-to-do-it”. All a good way of seeing someone else’s point-of-view. Best job, apart from writing, was dispatch-riding on a motorcycle in the 70s, though I’ve also enjoyed teaching, librarianship, counselling and helping to run a community-centre. Sometimes I’ve looked respectable in a suit, other times a bit more wild and woolly (though still stylish) as a biker. It’s strange how differently people treat you, depending on what you’re wearing. A suit means I’m sometimes addressed as ‘sir’, but in motorcycle leathers I’m always referred to as ‘mate.’ The worst job that I’ve done ? You really don’t want to know, but it was in a processed food manufacturer’s factory – put me off bacon, sausages and quiches for a long time, and made me look at pet food in a new way. I’m very glad that I don’t have any pictures. I’ve been writing since I was eight, when I penned a story about a desert island and attempted to compile a dictionary – as Clarissa does in my short story ‘The Moon Is Out Tonight’. I’ve written for magazines under a variety of pen-names, ghost-written a couple of biographies and had a column in a local newspaper. I used to concentrate on non-fiction of an informative, how-to instructional nature, as I’m a firm believer in the dissemination of knowledge to enable people to do things for themselves. Knowledge is power, and in these troubled times of economic downturn and increased intrusion into our lives by government agencies, its vital to know how to get through. My fictional stories also show people coping and finding ways to survive. I’m based in a Celtic nation, the county of Cornwall or Kernow. I’ve been here for twenty years, and have lived all over the country, as well as abroad in France, Germany, Switzerland, Spain and the U.S.A.

Staying Positive

Most of us have heard of the phrase the power of positive thinking, which came from Norman Vincent Peale’s bestseller. It can be hard to see the good in situations that have stalled or plainly failed, and making lemonade when life hands you lemons is only temporary refreshment.

I once read a definition of the human body as being essentially a chemical factory, which is controlled through electrical impulses that are fired from the brain. What and how we think affects how we feel about our own selves and the world itself.

Colin Wilson has an anecdote about becoming aware of the power of shifting how he saw things in his autobiography Dreaming to Some Purpose. Wilson sprung to fame in 1956, with his examination of various outsider artists called The Outsider. He made a lot of money very quickly and was taken seriously as a thinker. His writing never reached such heights again, and though he studied and produced books on a huge variety of subjects, many of which sold well, he was also critically savaged.

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He called himself, almost dismissively, a writing machine, and though he brushed aside the criticism he also suffered from panic attacks and bouts of despair. He was trying to fight off a panic attack as he was about to embark on a train journey to visit his publisher but had the insight that he was at his lowest ebb at that point, so was unlikely to be seeing things clearly. What if he flipped things around, and instead of panicking about the upcoming meeting being dreadful, look on it as being a wonderful opportunity for suggesting a new writing project? He immediately felt a surge of relief, which perked up his thoughts and boosted his physical being.

Colin Wilson went on to write about this process, which he saw as mastering his emotions. He was essentially trying to get away from feeling helpless, something which American psychologist Martin Seligman expanded upon. He believes in positive psychology and favours something called Learned Optimism, which is done by consciously challenging any negative self-talk.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_optimism

Doubt is something that affects writers a lot, and it’s not helped by the amount of time that we spend alone. I find that it helps to view doubt as simply a shadow, an insubstantial sign that the solid and good story which I created actually exists.

As author George W Pacaud observed :

Why inflict pain on oneself, when so many others are ready to save us the trouble?’

Image result for quote you have to keep your eye on the sky to see a rainbow

George Eliot

Are you a Reporter or an Imaginer?

I’m currently reading Lawrence Block’s Spider Spin Me A Web – A Handbook For Fiction Writers. Chapter 20 is called Reporters and Imaginers.

Block’s interest in the two types of writers was raised by a colleague at a literary conference, Arno Karlen who writes largely nonfiction. He gave a lecture in which he postulated that there’s often a very thin line between fiction and nonfiction. He cites Hemingway, James Baldwin and Norman Mailer as examples of reporters in the guise of novelists.

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This made Block wonder about how he wrote things. How much was he using experiences and people that he’d known as inspiration, and how much came purely from his imagination? He gives several amusing examples of how he found it easier sometimes to write convincingly about people and places that he didn’t know than to create an accurate impression of those that he was acquainted with.

I thought about my writing and decided that I use a mix of autobiographical experiences and made-up stuff. I definitely favour factual details, though this is done more in a write what you know about way. For instance, I give several of the characters in my novel physical and mental ailments that I’ve had—gout, Reynaud’s syndrome (cold feet), depression and Aspergillosis—a fungal infection of the lungs.

 Gout is one of the few ailments that one gets no sympathy for having—it’s always assumed that it’s your fault, through rich eating or drinking too much port and brandy. In fact, it’s more of an inherited condition (my grandfather had it) and is a form of arthritis. I’ve suffered various pains, including stabbing, being shot, poisoned (Black Widow) and broken bones, but nothing hurt as much as gout. Thankfully, I’ve only been afflicted a few times, and not for twenty years, but at the time it felt like my big toe joint was clamped in a vice that was being hit with a club hammer and heated by a blowtorch.

Ah well, it’s all grist to the mill, and I passed my agony onto the forensic pathologist in my novel, and her condition provided a turning point in the plot.

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The Gout by James Gillray, 1799

The pitfall of being a Reporter style of writer is that one could come across as giving a lecture if too much detail is given. Then again, an Imaginer really needs to describe their creation in a feasible and convincing way.
What sort of writer are you – a Reporter or Imaginer?

How to speak Australian

My friend in New Zealand wrote to me recently, saying that she was looking forward to doing something in the ‘arvo.’ I had no idea what she meant, briefly wondering if an arvo was a make of car that I hadn’t heard of before.

She’s lived and worked in Australia a lot, so I’ve become used to hearing of ‘barbies’ for barbeques, and arvo turned out to mean afternoon. One of the funniest Australian abbreviations, to my mind anyway, is that their outlaw biker gang members are known as ‘bikies’ – which make them sound like cuddly toys.

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I knew an Australian woman who married a Cornishman and settled here. She was wildly amused by the expression ‘have a root around in my drawers’, meaning to search for an item, as to root means something considerably ruder in Oz.

If any of you are thinking of creating an Australian character, you could get some good tips from this video.

The most popular books of all time

At least E.L. James hasn’t made the list!

I suppose that this list could be used as a test of how well-read one is…I hadn’t heard of Dream of the Red Chamber before, but I’ve read all of the others, apart from The Koran and The Da Vinci Code. I absolutely refuse to read Dan Brown or watch the movie adaptations of his books. I don’t need to try something to know that it’s rubbish.

Someone once conned me into reading The Celestine Prophecy, and if I hadn’t been on a Jumbo jet crossing the Atlantic at the time, I’d have thrown it at the nearest wall! To make matters worse, it was the only book that I had with me, so I ended up memorising the in-flight magazines.

http://metro.co.uk/2015/07/15/the-most-popular-book-of-all-time-isnt-harry-potter-5297319/

eBay buying tip

I’ve read many handbooks on writing over the years, acquiring them off Amazon, AbeBooks and eBay—usually for a few pounds.

I’ve had my eye on Harry Bingham’s The Writers’ and Artists’ Yearbook Guide to Getting Published, for a while, putting a watch on it as all the copies advertised were at least £13.

I read somewhere that placing an item into your shopping basket, then leaving it there, could have benefits with the seller offering the would-be buyer a discount to make the sale. Sure enough, after placing a copy of the publishing guide in my basket for two weeks, I received an email notification that the last copy had been reduced to £2.59 with free postage and packing.

I made it mine, saving about £10.

Incidentally, Harry Bingham is a thriller writer, who after realising that debut authors were having problems securing an agent and publisher for their first book, established an advice site he called Writers’ Workshop which also offered editorial services. It was recently rebranded as Jericho Writers.

He’s made many useful videos, which are on YouTube.

Memory and Doorways

In the interest of reassuring blog readers who fear they’re losing their marbles when they become forgetful, I thought that I’d post a link to a report on the effect of moving from room to room.

Any person of a certain age starts to fret that they’re succumbing to early-onset Alzheimer’s, when they can’t recall someone’s name or why they came into a room. I’ve wondered if absent-mindedness was more commonly found among writers. After all, we sit staring at our computer screens for ages, lost in the lives of our created characters, then we’re expected to magically return to reality as if we can instantly recall what it was we’re supposed to be doing.

This happened to me a few months ago, when I found myself standing in the bathroom without an inkling of why I’d gone in there. It wasn’t for my normal business, for I was running on empty, so I returned to my laptop to continue submitting to literary agents. After several minutes of typing, I cottoned-on to why I’d stood looking at my bathroom cabinet, for I had a painful hangnail that was catching on the keys as I typed.

D’oh! I went back through to get the nail-clippers to ease my discomfort. This jaunt takes me through two doorways, which is more than enough to disrupt my memory banks, at least according to this report :

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-walking-through-doorway-makes-you-forget/

Treating myself like an idiot, and heading the problem off at the pass, I now keep a spare nail-clipper hooked over the edge of my pen jar next to the computer.

Image result for what did i come in here for? forgetful cartoon

Food For The Brain

This test was mentioned in several British newspapers recently and is worth doing. Follow the instructions and give yourself 15 minutes of free time to do it. Don’t panic if you don’t complete a page of the test, as they really are designed to change before you’ve finished – as a rough guide, I got about halfway through before it changed.

I’m surprisingly normal (for a weirdo!), but seemingly need to eat more vitamin B and do more exercise – just as well I’ve bought a bicycle. I did a 40-mile round trip recently in pouring rain and 60 m.p.h. wind, to attend the funeral of a friend, surprised to make it there and back…though I think I need to buy a gel saddle, as I couldn’t walk in a straight line for a week!

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A Question of Attitude

This blog has a dozen posts about physical and mental health, but I thought that I’d contribute something about raising one’s morale. Just as it’s easy to become a myopic, spine-bent, jelly-bellied lard arse by being a writer, so it’s easy to turn into feeling like you’re your own worst enemy spiritually—a self-critical slave to drudgery.

I’ve been collecting quotes, sayings, poems and aphorisms for forty years, and sometimes haul out my ring-binder files to boost my spirit with the thoughts of others wiser than me. There are thousands of things been written about the process of writing, but my four quotes here come from some very different men and can be applied to tackling life overall as well as how to approach one’s creativity.

Everyone knows Steve McQueen the film actor, a man renowned for his toughness, derring-do with cars and motorcycles, as well as his womanising. Few are aware of the tough start in life that he had, with a father who deserted the family, a promiscuous drunken mother, a physically abusive stepfather and trouble with the law. He was behaving in a very self-destructive way, but turned his life around with the discipline of being in the Marines, followed by learning the craft of acting.
He later observed that :
‘The world is as good as you are. You have to learn to like yourself first.’

Henry Ford transformed the automobile industry through the use of the assembly line. He may have done wonders for popularising the use of the car, but he was a vile man in lots of ways. Although he claimed to be a pacifist, he was also an anti-Semitic fascist who supported Hitler. 

All the same, he was a go-getter and came up with some great advice about attitude:

Image result for henry ford 'Whether you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.'

Doctor Robert Schuller was Ford’s diametrical opposite, a Christian minister and motivational speaker. He authored over thirty books on the power of positive thinking. He was famed for his pithy sayings, but one of my favourites tackles the way that we tend to stop ourselves from doing things – often through self-doubt, laziness or fear :

Image result for dr robert schuller quotes

The last quote comes from a hard-nosed union leader, whose father did a disappearing act. To be more accurate Jimmy Hoffa was probably ‘disappeared’ by organised crime thugs, with whom he’d had dealings. His son James P. Hoffa took over the reins of the Teamsters some twenty-five years after his father vanished. This must have required some moxie, and I like the double-edged thought he had, (which could be applied to borrowing ideas if you’re of a literary bent), as well as being firm encouragement to stiffen your resolve :

‘You only get what you are big enough to take.’

Crash, Bang Wallop—or Even Flow?

I’ve read conflicting advice about how a narrative arc should flow in a novel. I was delighted when I found a graph that showed how a story should have highs and lows, as well as longueurs when nothing much seems to be happening, and that the psychological thriller novel that I wrote in 2014 ‘The Perfect Murderer’ conformed to it. This was quite by chance, or maybe having read thousands of novels rubbed off on me.

This approved pattern starts slowly, as my first chapter does, before climbing steeply to an early dramatic peak – which happens in my second chapter when the corpse of an American tourist is found. My third chapter pulls the key police personnel together in a meeting to discuss the case, which shows something of their individual characteristics.

The problem is that if one is submitting just the first three chapters to an agent or publisher, then it’s not going to grab them by the lapels and say “look at this !” Some experts advise that the opening paragraph should be shocking and that the story should hit the ground running with the first chapter charging into the second. One way around this is to have two versions of your opening chapters – a sensational, make-an-impression sizzler for submissions and the real more sedate bookish form. Daft isn’t it?

I’ve not done this (yet!), but have used a tip to use a hook/elevator pitch in the first paragraph of my covering letter by describing my novel as The Silence of The Lambs meets World of Warcraft. This is meant to indicate the contrast in how an undetected murderer, a psychopath and The Watcher, a game-playing fantasist approach killing their victims.

In the submissions that I’ve made to literary agents, and those publishers with an open submission window, I’ve placed the elevator pitch in the introduction of my query letter. Many agencies ask for a synopsis in a small number of words. One requested just 250 words, which had me frothing at the mouth for a moment until I realised that it forced me to use my elevator pitch.

There’s a bewildering variety of formats requested by agents for submissions, and certainly no such thing as an industry standard form. Some ask for the first three chapters, others the first 5,000 or 10,000 words and one asked for the first twenty-five chapters. The most sensible, to my mind, requested three consecutive chapters from anywhere in the novel which I thought best represented my style and the action in the story.
I’ve read on various forums and blogs that there is a trend towards shorter story formats, owing to readers using iPhones and tablets on the move, where content is taken in bite-sized chunks. Increasingly limited attention spans and the need for instant gratification is also affecting how patient people are when beginning a book – hence the advice that a story should go BOOM right from the start.

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I understand the need for a compelling hook or a unique selling point to attract readers but am really confused about the contradiction between allowing a story to develop with peaks, plateaus and even the odd trough and attempting to provide one cheap thrill after another. No one can stay permanently high, forever aroused and unfailingly interested.

Thoughts please…

Author Interviews Website

I subscribed to crime novelist James Oswald’s newsletter two months ago. His career as an author is inspirational, going from rejections to self-publishing success to signing with Penguin.

Anyway, in this month’s newsletter he mentions a relatively new website called Author Interviews.

Only seven authors have been interviewed so far, including James Oswald, but you can sign up for an alert to tell you when fresh interviews are posted.